Our Baby

My baby girl is crawling! Oh good grief is she crawling! She's a maniac! Smiles all over her face as she races to escape the clutches of confinement! FREEDOM! Great for her...chaos for me! I so wish she could stay small, swaddled and cuddling, but I suppose growing up is unavoidable. It's funny, I'm so proud of her when she hits another milestone, yet I long for her to stop learning so much so fast. She turned eight months just a few days ago, seems to me she's moving quicker than she needs to. Silly baby.

My older children are so great with her! They still race into my room in the morning when she starts to squeak. They hover over her while she moves about the house and they argue about who's turn it is to hold her. I thought she'd be like any latest new toy; scrambling to play with her for the first little while then the novelty would wear off. No luck. They are still fascinated by her, as am I. I stare at her while she sleeps, and hold her feet when she's eating. I just can't get enough of her. All of this love and affection she gets while she's small will hopefully shape her into a kind considerate and loving individual. I just hope that she doesn't become spoiled and entitled. Yikes! Have to be careful about that!

For now, we will all enjoy having a baby ripping around the house and tearing up our lives! Yeah baby!

Flower Power

As of late I have been keeping my home a little cleaner. I have found a little bit of extra energy that I've invested into our house. My laundry room is little happier, my floors have been washed twice (TWICE) within the last week. I'm sure to most this doesn't sound epic, however, I have engineered laminate flooring with a piano finish. ARGH! I detest these floors. Because of the piano finish, which when clean is absolutely stunning, the moment moisture of any degree meets floor a cloudy residue appears. It looks even worse after it's been cleaned.

After having had these floors for over a year, I've tried every kind of remedy. Vinegar and water, no water, laminate floor cleaning made specifically for the brand of floor that I have, orange glo, mr.clean...and the list goes on. Nothing works. The only way to clean the floors and avoid the dreaded cloud is to get on my hands and knees, lightly mist the cleaner directly onto the floor then immediately buff with a dry towel. On average it takes three hours to do. I of course have this floor throughout our entire home. Awesome. I've cried over it, wondering why I just spent all of this time doing the floors just to have one of the kids walk through with bare feet and leave their little marks everywhere. Their feet don't even have to be dirty, they just leave prints!

I have come to the end of my relationship with my floor. I have decided that as soon as our finances will allow it, we are going to tear out this floor and install bamboo. That's it. I'm through!

But I digress, I began this post talking about how I have managed to keep our home a little cleaner. I spent a great deal of time on my floor a few days ago. I started it knowing that it would only be clean for a few minutes. So I made the most of these minutes. I did the dishes and the laundry, organized my desk, cleaned the t.v. unit. and gave my tiniest a bath all while my bigger kids were playing in the backyard.

The day before this I had picked up groceries in the city. I don't normally get flowers, nor do I buy them, but as I was ready to checkout, I passed a display of roses that were on sale. Without thinking I grabbed a package and off I went. After I was finished cleaning and baby was fast asleep in her crib, I looked around my house, fully satisfied with my progress. Granted there are still many many unfinished projects, but they all seemed somehow to disappear in the presence of these three red roses. So weird.

Over the next few days I found myself tidying up and not absolutely hating the chores. I felt contented to be cleaning and cooking and baking and just generally keeping house. I firmly attribute that to my little roses. It was entirely gratifying to set the vase back on the table after cleaning off the lunch crumbs my girls leave for me. One last wipe and my flowers can go right back to where they were. Ahhh. There. Pretty.

Sadly, this morning after feeding everyone breakfast I noticed a sad drooping kind of look on my flowers. Oh no. They're dying. I have plucked off the petals that don't quite look right anymore and it seems to have revived them just a bit, but I don't think they are going to last until tomorrow. Someone call it, time of death, Sunday, 9:15am. Damn.

Now I'm too sad to clean. House sucks again.

The only solution here is obvious. Get more flowers. It won't even matter what kind, just so long as they are alive and have vibrant summertime colors. This is the power of the flower. Flower Power.

Flowers = Clean House

A New Toy.

It's funny how the tiniest most mundane things can cause such amusement for a child. As adults we muddle about not giving a second glance to ordinary things that would cause a three year to giggle themselves into a blissful stupor. Is it because this all new to them? A butterfly pausing a moment on the tip of a teddybear's nose. A batted balloon bouncing off the top of their head. Bubbles!

My kids, all six of them, have an exaggerated love of water. Not to drink, but put into things, to pour, to spray, to spill or just generally sit in. The world absolutely stops and sheer happiness abounds when they are playing with water. It doesn't much matter what it is they are doing with it, just so long as there is plenty of it, and they aren't required to sit at the table and drink it.

Right this moment they are holding their six hundredth water balloon fight today. They have found so much joy in it that once they ran out of the 300 water balloons I gave to them yesterday, they spent THEIR OWN MONEY on buying 200 more! Normally this money is lovingly spared for the purchase of candy and ice cream, so this is a big deal.

Yesterday my hubby brought home a new backyard toy. An above ground pool with a salt water chlorinator and a solar cover. The kids are positively itching to get it set up and filled. I doubt any amount of cold could keep them from diving right in, full body on the first go. I wish I enjoyed something, anything that much. A line from a movie I saw. "I wish I loved anything as much as kids love bubbles." So true.

The downfall to this wicked cool purchase is that it requires a great deal of planning and set up. A fifteen foot wide above ground pool needs to sit on level ground and will need a few buckets of water to fill it. Our backyard is graded away from the house to keep water from washing into our basement. A good plan, and something that shouldn't be messed with. So I guess the first point of business is to find a spot where levelling out the ground won't cause damage to our foundation. No problem. Fair sized yard, and thanks to our female dog, not much grass left to kill.

Now to level it out in a sixteen foot diameter. Okay, let's pause and take a break. Pina Colada time. Book time. Blog time. Kids are quickly running out of water balloons, and if the pool is still in it's box, they WILL resort to entertaining themselves some other way. We don't want this. Kids with nothing to do on a beautiful summer day will inevitably lead to "Mo-o-o-m-m-m-m. I'm bo-o-o-o-r-r-r-e-e-d-d-d-d!" Ugh! Damn delicious pina colada! Damn interesting book!

No problem. Maybe the hubby is ready to get this set up. I know he isn't looking forward to bored kids...

Nope.

Shit.

Okay, looks like I'm gonna have to manipulate the situation. Sleepovers are always fun, and I bet I could distract them with ice cream. It's worth a shot. Hopefully we can get ourselves organized and motivated to get this done for tomorrow. I think I might just be as excited as the kids for this one! I LOVE swimming pools!!! I'm just too old to love it enough to bare the icy cold waters that will reside in said pool until the sun has a chance to warm it.

Summer's Here

Summer is in full swing; kids are all home from school and already bored, water is constantly running in the front yard, fire pit is getting full usage, fireworks are abundant and classic hot muscle cars grace the highway on the weekends. I love summer! Love it! Everything except the spiders of course.

Right now is super busy. I have all six kids home, hubby is working at moving on to a new career and we are renovating nearly every room...still. The bathroom is nearly finished, and there isn't much left to do in the living room. The kitchen is a far cry from complete as is the master ensuite, but we've still made great progress.

My good friend came by last yesterday for a visit, our kids ran a muck, we had a few drinks and enjoyed dinner together, then she scooped up my three small girls and took them for an over-nighter. My son is spending an entire month in Calgary and left a few days ago. My eldest and my tiniest daughters are the only two kids home today. This morning is super quiet.

So quiet in fact that it has started me thinking about what is to come when September arrives. It seems to come so fast. When school resumes, five of my six will be in school. Granted the twins will only attend full days every second day, they are still mostly gone. Then it's just me and my tiniest, and she'll be busy for two hours in the afternoon just sleeping. So every second day for at least two hours I will be completely and utterly alone. Holy cow. It's a bit scary to think about.

My maternity leave is finished in September as well. Big month. I have decided that I'll need to keep busy, and I don't intend on taking up bird house making, or puzzles...so...I will be working on getting my real estate license, I think, maybe...Oh I don't know!

I want to be home with my babies, but when my babies aren't home I should be doing something productive. However, I have no intentions of going back to work any time soon. This is a conundrum. I figure that getting my real estate license will allow me to work when I want to and be home when I want to. Only one way to find out I suppose. Luckily for me there isn't currently a local agent in my town. I could be the first, the one and only local real estate agent. That would be cool. I would also like to get licensed to sell farms/acreages since that would be the bulk of sales that would happen out here. Something to think about.

In the meantime, I plan to be home with my babies all summer. I have a few plans to keep them busy both in the sun and the rain. A trip to the dollar store next week should warrant a pretty hefty haul of crafting goodies and summer time play things. We have also planned a week long trip to Calgary to see family. A seven or eight hour trip, depending on the bathroom breaks and stops to threaten to spin around and take them right bake home. This should be a ton of fun.

My sister has booked off the entire week that we are going to be home! I am so excited! We plan to see the Zoo, Heritage park, Calaway park, Riley park, Olympic Plaza, mini golf, Steven Avenue, the Tower, and the wave pool! Everything that I always had right around the corner and took entirely for granted. Now my kids get to enjoy it all with me. Awesome.

Nothing. Nothing at all.

Well today is going to be one of those days were I need to conjure up some motivation. It's already noon, and I've only managed to get the dishes done. Hubby is busily working on the tile in the bathroom, but this won't last long since our mud is nearing it's end. Sunday in a small town doesn't typically lend itself to making supplies readily available. So, the end of the mud also means the end of tiling for today.

I've whipped up a seven layer taco dip, my Pepsi is on standby and the kids have been sent to their room and aren't allowed out until I can see the floor that I am sure resides just below the mess.

Maybe I'll relish my lazy Sunday. Let hubby just sit after he is finished and not require anything more. Just enjoy our day. I'll take the kiddies for ice cream in the new van, marinade the steaks and pour myself a drink or two.

Well there we are, a plan. A good plan. A plan I'll likely stick to!

Eight Hours!

I do believe that today is going to be one of those days where things get done, music gets played and sun will shine. You betcha. My tiniest went to bed last night just after midnight. She had a slight cold, so I prepared myself to be up most of the night with her. She fell asleep in my arms and I placed her in her crib, covered her up, kissed her and off she went. Into a dreamland I only wish I could have a peek at.

I blogged, chatted with the hubby, turned on a movie and slowly entered a dreamland of my own.



...



I woke this morning at 8:30...8:30?...8:30!!! Hubby was still here. Odd. Everything is quiet. I lay in bed for a moment listening to the hum of the air conditioner as it buzzed to life. Still nothing. I sat up trying to get a peek into the crib. No movement. WTF?

I asked hubby if I had the right time. Yep. Definitely slept in, but how? Baby wakes at 2am and then again around 5am. She loves to wake up and eat and fall asleep on mommy. I walked over to her crib and found her sleeping soundly. I couldn't believe it! I haven't had a full eight hours sleep in over seven months!! Holy cow!! Now I am sitting her wondering if this is a new phase we are happily entering into, or if this was a side effect of the new homeopathic cold medication I gave her before bed last night...I can guess, but I would rather that it's a new phase! So sticking with that, we move on.

With a full sleep charging me up I have to spend my glorious day wisely. My good friend with a gaggle of children herself took my twins for a sleepover last night. They will likely be occupied until this afternoon. Superb. Just four at home today. Totally manageable. I have my coffee, my shower is calling and hubby is going to have to get off to work eventually...or maybe I keep him for the day. Play hooky from work and just tile the bathroom. Sounds like a plan!

Wish me luck! I'm off to make the most of this beautiful day!

Age is Just a Number?

I was rocking my tiniest to sleep tonight when I began to ponder the births of my other little babies. I had my first when I was 20. I might as well have been 15. I knew nothing about responsibility and patience and putting someone else's needs before my own. Growing up we were, how can I put this, without alot of things, broke, poor, destitute. (Okay so I know exactly how to put it!) We didn't know that we didn't have what everyone else had. We had no idea that we had any less than our friends or family. I have my mom to thank for that. She had a way about her that kept us all feeling safe and cared for, no matter what was or wasn't in the fridge.

I had my second baby at the age of 22. I had a bit more clarity on the whole mothering thing, but looking back on it now, I am amazed that I made it through.

I had my third when I was 26 and my fourth and fifth at 27. Now came the growth. With two small children you can still occasionally leave the house if you are lucky enough to have family who is willing to help out. I still had an identity that lived outside of my home life. It was almost like having two lives really. At home I was a mom, responsible and reliable. At work I was fun, outgoing and spirited. Anyone who knew me from work was always surprised to see me in "mommy mode".

After having my twins, my third baby was still just a baby at 11months. So much I just cannot remember. I joke and say that I've blocked it out. Having an infant now makes me wonder just how the hell I managed. We lived in a very small condo; two bedrooms, one very small bathroom, a living room with a funny little kitchenette off to end of it and no backyard whatsoever. My two older children shared a room, and my three small ones shared the other. Hubby and I shared a pullout sofa in the living room. We didn't have a vehicle at the time, but we still managed to get around, although not that often.

So my train of thoughts tonight have left me wondering how did we do it? I knew so little, and had so little. Those poor babies! How could I have thought for even a moment that I was capable of being a mother? To be the one person that is that babies everything. Everything that this child is going to need has to come from me. If she is ever sick, or sad, or lost, I have to make it better. I have to make sure that she has no idea that we have so little. I have to make sure that she never wants for anything even when there isn't much in the fridge. My babies all have to grow into adulthood feeling like their mother did everything she could for them. My oldest is going to be 13 in a few weeks. It scares me to think that I didn't do enough. I wonder what they think...

I am now 33, I have six children, a husband, a home and a few cars, only two of which actually work. I am so lucky that my children are as wonderful as they are. I am so lucky that they turned out to be the people they are. I am so lucky that I have so many more years to enjoy them, love them, watch them grow and create families of their own. How amazing it is to be a mom, especially to these six incredible babies.

The Results are In...

Some time has passed since I last posted, and in that time I have tested my theory and have gathered results. Now to interpret those results.

In order to find out whether I was able to create a good mood out of thin air we needed to compile a list of tasks that needed to be done. (See previous post for details.) With this list I could measure my mood by how many of these tasks were successfully completed and whether I was happy while doing them.

Task 1. Catch buckets for the nine new holes in my ceiling were strategically placed, water mopped and wiped and mopped again, and a large circus type multi colored tarp was lovingly laid on the very wet roof. Complete. Done and done. Happily?  Not sure if we can count ourselves happy in this scenario, however, we didn't get upset or pissy, so we'll call this a win none the less.

Task 2. Monster truck cake. While the roof was draining into my living room I baked my butt off! Cakes were successfully baked, however, due to the time and effort that went into damage control on the part of my roof, the cake was delayed and entire day. Customer was happy with the adjusted delivery time, and crisis was averted. So, task not quite fully complete, but again we didn't get upset or pissy. Cool.

Task 3. All of my community market baking was finished! Complete! Woo Hoo! Oh, but...I bailed on actually attending the market to sell said baking due to the fact that I had delayed the monster truck cake and was now behind the eight ball. Okey dokey. Well, still not crying. Moving on.

Task 4. Sister arrives on time! Yeah! House is a drippy mess, kids are semi-clean, dishes are done, but as dishes tend to do, they continue to pile up. Laundry is moving along nicely, but is NEVER ever fully complete. Sweeping, done. Mopping, yeah right. Bathroom, had the kids do it! Baking, of course. Still not crying. Whoopee!

Task 5. Hair not brushed, but rather twisted into a mangled bun at the back of my head so as to keep all loose strands from adding a little extra to my baking for the day...but my teeth were brushed! I'd call that a win too!

So to tally these all up...not many of my tasks were fully completed. They never are. I was however able to keep myself moving for the entire day. I didn't sit and wallow in my floor puddles, nor did I curl up in a ball and cry myself into next week. Conclusion; I successfully conned myself into having a good day!

So while this isn't the most scientific experiment ever conducted, it sure kept me busy, and I now have reason to believe that should I need to, I bet I could talk myself into a good mood any day.

Mind Over Matter

Ever wonder if it's possible to talk yourself into a good mood? If it might be even just the tiniest bit plausible to convince yourself that you have a bundle of energy and positivity? Today we're going to find out if that can happen. I'll consider this my own version of mythbusters, only without the annoying cast and that crazy ass mustache and ridiculous hat.

For this experiment we need to measure the current mood and level of energy...

Both very low. Okay, so now we have a baseline.

We must also take into account the ever present and daunting to do list;

1. We have recently taken to re-shingling our roof. We stripped the old shingles, tar papered then started to re-shingle. By Sunday we had stripped the entire roof, completely papered it, but only shingled the front half and a few rows on the other half. Needless to say, with the hubby being at work during the week, not much was accomplished over the course of the next few days. I warned and recommended a tarp, but my ideas were poo pooed. (Foreshadowing?)

This morning there is a brand new hole in my ceiling in my living room partnered with a melodic drip drip drip. No problem. I've always wanted an indoor water feature! My new and over priced flooring is positively loving the moisture and is actually curving upwards like a tulip to the sun. Wonderful. We'll just call it "rustic". So our first task is to clean the water, get catch buckets, call and warn hubby and eventually get up on the wet roof in the pouring rain and set up the tarp that should already have been up there. Good.

2. I occasionally bake cakes for weddings, birthdays, anniversaries and such. I just happen to have an order for a monster truck cake for tonight. Cool. I can do that, mind you it would be a little easier if I hadn't also...

3. Comitted to the community market this week-end! Ha ha! Oh my I sure love a dramatic type of weekend! So I have a ton of baking; oregano Parmesan bread, pizza buns, gramma buns and apple cake. Have to have that done for tonight as well so that I can pack up and be at the market for just before 9am. Wicked.

4. My dear sister arrives today for a week long visit! Woo Hoo! I have been looking forward to her visit for months! I can't wait to see her! Only problem, aside from the lengthy list of baking and my brand new water feature, my house is a disaster! I can't imagine how I'll bake and clean, but it's worth a try! So to the list we add dishes, laundry, sweeping and mopping, bathroom and bathing the kiddies.

5. Brush my hair. From my list I do believe that this will be the hardest task to accomplish, so I won't hold my breath.

How can we measure the results? Well, were the tasks completed? Was I able to keep a good attitude about it? Am I still happy at the end of my day? I'd say these are all measurable. We'll just have to wait and see. Stay tuned for the exciting conclusion of "Can Lisa Fool Herself into a Good Mood and Complete her To Do List?". Wish me luck.

Project Complete!

Sun is piercing through my grey cloud. My bubble seems to be replenishing itself little by little and I believe that it's due to the fact that I FINALLY finished a project! I did! From start to finish and I feel very different about myself this morning. Isn't it funny how the little things really make all the difference in the world.

I was rather bored the other day and surfed the net for all sorts of DIY stuff. Not even specific stuff, just random "I bet I could do that" "keep me busy" kinda stuff. So dusted off my old brother sewing machine, pulled out some fabric that I purchased over a year ago for some grand project that I started but...surprise surprise I didn't finish. I made a pattern from my pack of Friday fliers and set to make 7 kids sized aprons!

I really had to push myself to get started though. It's difficult to begin a project when you're feeling miserable, but I managed to force  myself to lay everything out and told myself "No green tea or snacks until progress is evident". It worked! (I LOVE my green tea.)

The more I did, the more I wanted to keep going. Soon I had the music going, kids were playing outside in the sunshine, and my tiniest was amused by the noise of the machine. Perfect. I had all of my pieces cut, pinned and straps sewn when I finally caved and grabbed an ice cold tea from the fridge. I do believe that was the BEST tasting green tea I've had in a long time.

Dinner was super late, but this time it just didn't bother me. I am now sitting in front of 7 fully completed and super cute kids' aprons and I feel strangely heroic for having done it. I know that in the grand scheme of things aprons don't matter. What matters is that I forced myself out of my funk, even if only for a day. My kids are happier today knowing that mom isn't as touchy and irritable and the house seems somehow brighter.

I have to keep this sense of self going. I have to start and finish another project. Don't know what just yet, but I can't stop. I'm energized and smiling and generally rarin to go!

Being an at home mother of six children can sometimes leave a person feeling unproductive. I know that I am caring for the children and that that is the most important job that I have. It's still essential that I have something else that defines who I am. Today I'm crafty mom. Tomorrow maybe I'm fight club mom, or cupcake mom, or yard work mom, or roofing mom, or tiling mom...you get the idea. Just keep going.

My Mask

I wear a mask. The mask of a mother who may not have it all together, but at least knows which direction she is leading her children. A mask that creates the illusion of adulthood, maturity and responsibility. With six children people assume that you are responsible, especially because they are all well behaved (for the most part) and they seem to lead normal regular everyday lives.

My mask is hiding me. The true self that lies beneath my identity as a mother. I am a fraud. A character is someone else's play. This is not my life. This is not me. I don't think I even know who I am, but I know that this person others see can't possibly be who I've grown into.

I know a few things to be true. That I am fierce, determined and stubborn. I am strong and sure that I deserve to be treated with respect and kindness. The same kindness and respect I give to anyone else. I worry. Alot. I worry about money,  my future as a mother and if I am doing everything that I can to make sure that my children grow into healthy respectful successful happy people. I worry that I have chosen the wrong path for myself, and that I continually let events lead me rather than my own intuition and goals. I worry that my goals are too small to be worth the effort or far too big and completely out of the realm of possibility.

As I grow older I see more and more of what makes me unique slip away into muddy memories of who I used to be. Isn't it odd that I had a stronger sense of self when I was 21 than I seem to have at 33. I am terrified that I am wasting this life and wasting my time on all the wrong things.

What I am certain of is that I don't want to lead my children into their adulthood thinking that it's okay to take a backseat to their own lives. I don't want them to think it's okay to settle for what is right in front of them when something far more fulfilling is just around the corner. With that said, I don't want to have the opposite affect on them and have them miss every opportunity just because the grass may be greener on the other side, wasting their youth on waiting for something better.

I am lost, and I have absolutely no idea how to dig my way out of this funk that I seem to wallowing in lately. I am spending so much energy beating a dead horse when all I want to do is move past today, let go of yesterday and accept what has come and gone. I want to move forward. I want to play with my kids outside in the sun and enjoy the time I have with them while I'm home. I want to get off my butt and work around the house. I want to finish a project, ANY project! Just one project in the house from start to finish and sit back and be proud. I want to stop crying. I want to feel strong again. I need to move on.

My mask is thinning and people are beginning to see in. They're going to find out that it's the blind leading the blind in here and someones going to step in and take it all away from me. Someones going find out that I'm a fraud. I just hope it's not one of my kids.

Home Is Calling?

After moving from a large city to small town Saskatchewan never once did I think "I miss my home", until last night. Picking up and taking my family somewhere we had never been, and knowing that we knew nobody where we were going wasn't even scary. It was liberating, freeing, exciting. It was going to be an adventure that was meant to send my family in a healthy and financially appealing direction. For the most part it has been just that. I've gone so far as to say that this was the best move I had ever made.

We've been relatively happy here for four years, working on our home, our yard and having our sixth child. Of course there have been bumps in the road that anyone can expect from a family of this magnitude, but I have never questioned my decision to make a home here.

I think it may be time to go home. Lately I have been craving the comfort of my family (mother, sister and brother). I feel as though I need guidance and there isn't any family here to do that for me. When the house goes haywire and the kids are running a muck I can't call my Sister and say "Need a little help here!" I can't drop them off to Gramma's house so I can catch a flick without having my row of ducklings quick at my heels.

Last night was one of those nights were it's all you can do to just try to keep your sanity. I'm not sure I successfully made it out with mine. Turns out my bubble had a slow leak, and by the time I realized it, it was already too late. Laundry beckoned and pestered me until late into the evening, dinner didn't make it to the table until 7pm, which is considerably later than normal families would sit down to dine, the mess accumulated, moved and migrated but was never actually cleaned up, and children lost their ability to hear my voice at it's normal indoor volume. It was like a virus had conquered my patience and manifested itself in the form of disobedience in the children.

I woke early this morning, alone and without any of the small people waking. I had managed last night to at least tidy up the living dining and kitchen area, and had thankfully programmed the pot to brew my coffee before my alarm sounded. Walking into the kitchen only half conscious of my surroundings and feeling like beaten animal rising from it's coma I gathered my wits enough to pour my coffee and then crawled back into bed with my laptop.

The kids are begining to move around in their beds and my tiniest is just starting to gurgle. Time to start my day. But I refuse to move until I have convinced myself that today isn't going to take out of me what yesterday did. Today has to be better or I see a for sale sign perched on my front lawn in my very near future.

What to do, what to do?

Today is the perfect day to try something new. But what? It's rainy and cool outside today, so it's bound to be an indoor day for the most part. Three of my girls are still lounging in their jammies and have been paying very close attention to Babar and Sponge Bob. My tiniest is having her morning nap and I'm not even jealous. My coffee is delicious and the house is kinda tidy. The laundry needs my love and attention, so that will be a bit of a time filler for me...but I need something else. Something I haven't yet tried.

I LOVE the Internet. Love it! If you are stuck in the house being held hostage by uncooperative weather, then the Internet is the perfect tool to get your butt moving. I have a website that I visit regularly; Mennonite Girls can Cook. It's a blog that I follow that offers tons of recipes, and better than that, they are all recipes from the Mennonite culture. My Gram is Mennonite and has made a huge majority of these recipes for her family and they are some of my favorite meals from when I was a kid. What a fantastic way to spend a rainy day, making comfort food that reminds you of your childhood. That could be something I do today, a new recipe.

Another site I check as often as I can; flylady.com. Basically the most in depth and comprehensive website on house cleaning and organizing I've come across. The only issue there is that any ideas or inspiration I gain from this site will inevitably lead to cleaning. Nothing new and interesting about that. So nope. Not today.

Time to research! I feel like building something. That may be because I have a ton of shingles parked in my drive patiently waiting for a weekend installation. I feel stagnant and useless when I am surrounded by building material and I am doing nothing with them. Gotta do something to use some of these materials and better my home. This could be an interesting direction to take.

I'm off to find inspiration and motivation to better my home, my day, and my spirit. I'll keep you posted!

The Great Procrastinator!

I have so many plans! So many projects to start, even more to finish. I have so many ideas and am inspired far too often to take on new renovations or new challenges. It's entirely possible that I use these little projects as yet another way to procrastinate from getting my daily routine under control. Case in point; this blog!

Right now I have laundry, dishes, painting tiling, cabinetry that needs building and installing, cleaning, cooking, mudding and taping, re-grouting and sleeping to catch up on. Instead I've caught up on budgeting for both June and July...and that's it. Oh and I have a friend of mine picking up and dropping off over 7500lbs of roofing shingles in the next few hours. What on earth am I thinking?!

Here's what I'm thinking;

If I wake up on a Tuesday morning and I have energy, I'm gonna use it. If I've started a project (like tiling the bathroom) and I am out of either the tile or the grout, then I have to move on. Well, I have paint and supplies here, so instead of concentrating on getting the tile and grout, I move on to the next room! I don't think I have one finished room in the entire house! Doesn't matter. I love it. I know what still needs to be done, and I'm capable of doing it. Just have to get focused and prepared for one entire project, but this isn't likely to happen for me.

I'm a scatter brain. Not good if you have a career or a job, but it's totally cool if you're just at home and renovating, right? Jeepers I hope so. I don't plan on changing and as long as I can keep up on the bills, put a little more effort into the daily house keeping and try new recipes every now and again then I figure I'm happy!

And why not?

I live for chaos, and oh boy have I created a heaven of chaos up in here!

Homemade Liquid Laundry Soap!

I am on a mission to save my money! I have been surfing the web and I've found tons of little tricks. My favorite so far?

DIY Laundry Detergent! It's wonderful! Smells fantastic and WORKS in my high efficiency front load washer! Even better than that?


It WORKS on cloth diapers!!!! WOO HOO!!!

So with no further delay, here is how it's done.

Step 1. Gather your ingredients;

           bar of soap
           1/2 cup borax
           1 cup washing soda
           5 gallon pail
           water

Step 2. Start by shredding your bar of soap and boiling in on the stove in a pot of water. Amount won't matter. You will end up with super frothy soap soup. Do not eat.

 

Step 3. Pour 2 1/2 gallons of water into the pail. Pour soap soup into the pail and stir well. No splashing.

Step 4.  Add the Borax and the Washing Soda. Stir until dissolved.

Step 5. Add remaining 2 1/2 gallons of water and stir again.

Step 6. Cover and let sit over night. It will turn into a gelatinous type of goopy soap. Mix well and fill an empty laundry soap container. You'll have to shake it a bit before using, but oh my gosh is it worth the effort!

The next time I make this I'll be adding a few drops of lavender essential oil. That ought to be lovely!

Damn Germs!

Today is going to be WONDERFUL! My mom and brother arrived here over the weekend and I get to keep them until Saturday! A full week! My brother is someone I rarely get to see, so this is a very big deal. Most times when Mom and I visit, it's only for a few days, and it's always hectic. This time I get to keep her for a week so we don't have to rush our visit. It's wonderful....

Except...

For the germs!!!

Damn it! Of course with a family this size and with so many kids traipsing in and out of the house like restless vagabonds, germs are inevitable. My brother isn`t taking it so well, he`s sore and miserable and I`m worried that it may be making him feel like he wishes he wouldn`t have come. I hope that`s not the case, but it`s hard to tell. I just hope that everyone starts to feel better in time to enjoy this gorgeous weather before Saturday comes to take my family away again.

On the brighter side, my Mom`s birthday is TODAY!!! Today is going to be wonderful! Daylon is busy in the kitchen making her pancakes. The sun is super warm and the air conditioning is at full tilt. Woo Hoo! Love this weather! We have a lovely little gift or two, a cake to make, and kick ass dinner to prepare for. I hope she has a blast today. I hope, I hope I hope...now to find those ever elusive decorations and try to get her to leave the house for a few while I set up her birthday extravaganza!!!!

Happy Birthday Mom!!!

Moving Right Along

Slowly I am noticing changes all around me. My apple tree in the back yard is cautiously sprouting fresh vibrant green little leaves. Children are loud and energetic in anticipation of the summer that is surely approaching. The days are longer and it's more and more difficult to convince the children that it's bedtime even when the sun is still happily lighting the sky.

My youngest is sitting up on her own, now has a sippy cup and is making terrible messes with her baby cookies. They grow so fast. I am trying to live in her moments as much as I can. While she is my sixth baby, I find that I am able to appreciate my time with her so much more than I remember doing with all of my others. This could be for a number of reasons; I am older now and realize that these moments simply don't last nearly long enough, I am nursing for the very first time and there is such a sense of accomplishment in that and I attribute that to her, she is my last, my very last baby. Once she has passed infancy I won't get to experience this again. That is a extremely sobering fact for me.

I have to now create a new stage of my life. One where I am home with my children even when maternity leave is over. For months I have been working towards opening a small bakery/coffee shop in the small town I live in. In this small town there is ZERO space for commercial growth. My only hope was to take over a grocery store that was considering closure. I have been squirreling away my money, testing recipes, making plans and getting my hopes up. Yesterday, the owner called and said that he had been approved for a loan he has been trying to get and is going to keep the store open.

~Damn~

While this is wonderful news for him and for the community should he succeed, I am feeling very let down. I am trying my best to move past it without dwelling on what could have been, but it's difficult. So for now I'll put my focus back into my home and my routine (or lack of) with my family. I am re-energized and ready to take on the budget, the menu, the discord between me and my oldest girl, and every item still requiring my attention. It's gonna be alot, but it should keep me busy until I come up with my next big grand scheme.

Freeze Frame!

Many of my days pass in a hectic blur of breakfast, laundry, spitty babies, lunch, diapers, dinner, dishes and bills. So much so that I rarely sit back and just appreciate how super cute my kids are. It's difficult to admire them while they shove old tooth brushes down the the drain and smack each other with barbies and empty wrapping paper tubes. But I digress.

Our family portraits arrived last night and can't stop looking at them!

Ooh I just wanna squish 'em! So cute, quiet and sitting still!!! I'm still amazed that it went so well.

They look so grown up...with the exception of the baby of course.

The oldest and my one and only boy!

My oldest girl.

My next oldest girl...

My third youngest girl...

My second youngest girl...

My last and teeny tiniest.

What a lucky mom! Such fantastic kids, and uber gorgeous. Can you tell my kids still aren't home? So easy to love 'em when they're gone!

Eye of the Storm

So if you are a mom you can relate. The eye of the storm is the proverbial bubble you retreat to when the chaos of family and home surround you. Not everyone is lucky enough to have a bubble, and not every bubble is the same.

If you are a new mom, and have one or two children your bubble may be less dense than a mother of say five or six, or even ten. I myself have six children, so my bubble is as dense as fruit cake. I am fortunate enough to be able to sit at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee and a mask of serenity plastered on my face while my children bicker, fight, yell, cry, beg, plead, bang, break, crash, mope, tattle and generally live their exciting little lives around me.

My mother isn't quite as lucky. You see over time the bubble weakens and dissipates. Like Nanny McPhee it is only there while you need it, and leaves when you don't. Poor mom! She's coming to visit us for May long weekend and all I can do is hope her bubble replenishes itself prior to the children getting over the initial good behavior that occurs when Gramma first gets here. If things go well, and timing cooperates, the bubble will be back in full force in time for dinner. Fingers crossed!

As lucky as I am to have my bubble, I am equally lucky to have a friend who also has six children and an impenetrable bubble. I can't imagine what it must look like to an outsider. When our families get together there are twelve little people of all ages creating all sorts of mischief, and my girlfriend and I sit quietly chatting and sipping our green tea lemonade in the midst of it all. We don't respond to every cry and argument, rather we sit and ignore most of the madness until we hear that one cry that is different from all the rest. Not the hungry cry, or the angry cry, or the jealous cry. No. The hurt cry. The one that permeates the bubble and lets mom know there's probably blood drawn or bone broken. That's when you'll meet "WONDERMOM".

Average coffee sipping mom by day, and WONDERMOM when danger calls. Wondermom is faster than a speeding bullet, and can MacGyver a bandage out of nearly anything on hand. Unwavering, unthinking and as close to calm as can be managed, Wondermom can stop the screaming and crying as she pulls her hurting child into her bubble and makes everything better. My mom can still do that for me, even a province away. Maybe the bubble doesn't weaken, or dissipate. Maybe, just maybe it stays with you and simply alters and reacts as it's needed. Oh boy I hope so.