Home Is Calling?

After moving from a large city to small town Saskatchewan never once did I think "I miss my home", until last night. Picking up and taking my family somewhere we had never been, and knowing that we knew nobody where we were going wasn't even scary. It was liberating, freeing, exciting. It was going to be an adventure that was meant to send my family in a healthy and financially appealing direction. For the most part it has been just that. I've gone so far as to say that this was the best move I had ever made.

We've been relatively happy here for four years, working on our home, our yard and having our sixth child. Of course there have been bumps in the road that anyone can expect from a family of this magnitude, but I have never questioned my decision to make a home here.

I think it may be time to go home. Lately I have been craving the comfort of my family (mother, sister and brother). I feel as though I need guidance and there isn't any family here to do that for me. When the house goes haywire and the kids are running a muck I can't call my Sister and say "Need a little help here!" I can't drop them off to Gramma's house so I can catch a flick without having my row of ducklings quick at my heels.

Last night was one of those nights were it's all you can do to just try to keep your sanity. I'm not sure I successfully made it out with mine. Turns out my bubble had a slow leak, and by the time I realized it, it was already too late. Laundry beckoned and pestered me until late into the evening, dinner didn't make it to the table until 7pm, which is considerably later than normal families would sit down to dine, the mess accumulated, moved and migrated but was never actually cleaned up, and children lost their ability to hear my voice at it's normal indoor volume. It was like a virus had conquered my patience and manifested itself in the form of disobedience in the children.

I woke early this morning, alone and without any of the small people waking. I had managed last night to at least tidy up the living dining and kitchen area, and had thankfully programmed the pot to brew my coffee before my alarm sounded. Walking into the kitchen only half conscious of my surroundings and feeling like beaten animal rising from it's coma I gathered my wits enough to pour my coffee and then crawled back into bed with my laptop.

The kids are begining to move around in their beds and my tiniest is just starting to gurgle. Time to start my day. But I refuse to move until I have convinced myself that today isn't going to take out of me what yesterday did. Today has to be better or I see a for sale sign perched on my front lawn in my very near future.