Ever wonder if it's possible to talk yourself into a good mood? If it might be even just the tiniest bit plausible to convince yourself that you have a bundle of energy and positivity? Today we're going to find out if that can happen. I'll consider this my own version of mythbusters, only without the annoying cast and that crazy ass mustache and ridiculous hat.
For this experiment we need to measure the current mood and level of energy...
Both very low. Okay, so now we have a baseline.
We must also take into account the ever present and daunting to do list;
1. We have recently taken to re-shingling our roof. We stripped the old shingles, tar papered then started to re-shingle. By Sunday we had stripped the entire roof, completely papered it, but only shingled the front half and a few rows on the other half. Needless to say, with the hubby being at work during the week, not much was accomplished over the course of the next few days. I warned and recommended a tarp, but my ideas were poo pooed. (Foreshadowing?)
This morning there is a brand new hole in my ceiling in my living room partnered with a melodic drip drip drip. No problem. I've always wanted an indoor water feature! My new and over priced flooring is positively loving the moisture and is actually curving upwards like a tulip to the sun. Wonderful. We'll just call it "rustic". So our first task is to clean the water, get catch buckets, call and warn hubby and eventually get up on the wet roof in the pouring rain and set up the tarp that should already have been up there. Good.
2. I occasionally bake cakes for weddings, birthdays, anniversaries and such. I just happen to have an order for a monster truck cake for tonight. Cool. I can do that, mind you it would be a little easier if I hadn't also...
3. Comitted to the community market this week-end! Ha ha! Oh my I sure love a dramatic type of weekend! So I have a ton of baking; oregano Parmesan bread, pizza buns, gramma buns and apple cake. Have to have that done for tonight as well so that I can pack up and be at the market for just before 9am. Wicked.
4. My dear sister arrives today for a week long visit! Woo Hoo! I have been looking forward to her visit for months! I can't wait to see her! Only problem, aside from the lengthy list of baking and my brand new water feature, my house is a disaster! I can't imagine how I'll bake and clean, but it's worth a try! So to the list we add dishes, laundry, sweeping and mopping, bathroom and bathing the kiddies.
5. Brush my hair. From my list I do believe that this will be the hardest task to accomplish, so I won't hold my breath.
How can we measure the results? Well, were the tasks completed? Was I able to keep a good attitude about it? Am I still happy at the end of my day? I'd say these are all measurable. We'll just have to wait and see. Stay tuned for the exciting conclusion of "Can Lisa Fool Herself into a Good Mood and Complete her To Do List?". Wish me luck.
Friday, June 17, 2011
Friday, June 10, 2011
Project Complete!
Sun is piercing through my grey cloud. My bubble seems to be replenishing itself little by little and I believe that it's due to the fact that I FINALLY finished a project! I did! From start to finish and I feel very different about myself this morning. Isn't it funny how the little things really make all the difference in the world.
I was rather bored the other day and surfed the net for all sorts of DIY stuff. Not even specific stuff, just random "I bet I could do that" "keep me busy" kinda stuff. So dusted off my old brother sewing machine, pulled out some fabric that I purchased over a year ago for some grand project that I started but...surprise surprise I didn't finish. I made a pattern from my pack of Friday fliers and set to make 7 kids sized aprons!
I really had to push myself to get started though. It's difficult to begin a project when you're feeling miserable, but I managed to force myself to lay everything out and told myself "No green tea or snacks until progress is evident". It worked! (I LOVE my green tea.)
The more I did, the more I wanted to keep going. Soon I had the music going, kids were playing outside in the sunshine, and my tiniest was amused by the noise of the machine. Perfect. I had all of my pieces cut, pinned and straps sewn when I finally caved and grabbed an ice cold tea from the fridge. I do believe that was the BEST tasting green tea I've had in a long time.
Dinner was super late, but this time it just didn't bother me. I am now sitting in front of 7 fully completed and super cute kids' aprons and I feel strangely heroic for having done it. I know that in the grand scheme of things aprons don't matter. What matters is that I forced myself out of my funk, even if only for a day. My kids are happier today knowing that mom isn't as touchy and irritable and the house seems somehow brighter.
I have to keep this sense of self going. I have to start and finish another project. Don't know what just yet, but I can't stop. I'm energized and smiling and generally rarin to go!
Being an at home mother of six children can sometimes leave a person feeling unproductive. I know that I am caring for the children and that that is the most important job that I have. It's still essential that I have something else that defines who I am. Today I'm crafty mom. Tomorrow maybe I'm fight club mom, or cupcake mom, or yard work mom, or roofing mom, or tiling mom...you get the idea. Just keep going.
I was rather bored the other day and surfed the net for all sorts of DIY stuff. Not even specific stuff, just random "I bet I could do that" "keep me busy" kinda stuff. So dusted off my old brother sewing machine, pulled out some fabric that I purchased over a year ago for some grand project that I started but...surprise surprise I didn't finish. I made a pattern from my pack of Friday fliers and set to make 7 kids sized aprons!
I really had to push myself to get started though. It's difficult to begin a project when you're feeling miserable, but I managed to force myself to lay everything out and told myself "No green tea or snacks until progress is evident". It worked! (I LOVE my green tea.)
The more I did, the more I wanted to keep going. Soon I had the music going, kids were playing outside in the sunshine, and my tiniest was amused by the noise of the machine. Perfect. I had all of my pieces cut, pinned and straps sewn when I finally caved and grabbed an ice cold tea from the fridge. I do believe that was the BEST tasting green tea I've had in a long time.
Dinner was super late, but this time it just didn't bother me. I am now sitting in front of 7 fully completed and super cute kids' aprons and I feel strangely heroic for having done it. I know that in the grand scheme of things aprons don't matter. What matters is that I forced myself out of my funk, even if only for a day. My kids are happier today knowing that mom isn't as touchy and irritable and the house seems somehow brighter.
I have to keep this sense of self going. I have to start and finish another project. Don't know what just yet, but I can't stop. I'm energized and smiling and generally rarin to go!
Thursday, June 9, 2011
My Mask
I wear a mask. The mask of a mother who may not have it all together, but at least knows which direction she is leading her children. A mask that creates the illusion of adulthood, maturity and responsibility. With six children people assume that you are responsible, especially because they are all well behaved (for the most part) and they seem to lead normal regular everyday lives.
My mask is hiding me. The true self that lies beneath my identity as a mother. I am a fraud. A character is someone else's play. This is not my life. This is not me. I don't think I even know who I am, but I know that this person others see can't possibly be who I've grown into.
I know a few things to be true. That I am fierce, determined and stubborn. I am strong and sure that I deserve to be treated with respect and kindness. The same kindness and respect I give to anyone else. I worry. Alot. I worry about money, my future as a mother and if I am doing everything that I can to make sure that my children grow into healthy respectful successful happy people. I worry that I have chosen the wrong path for myself, and that I continually let events lead me rather than my own intuition and goals. I worry that my goals are too small to be worth the effort or far too big and completely out of the realm of possibility.
As I grow older I see more and more of what makes me unique slip away into muddy memories of who I used to be. Isn't it odd that I had a stronger sense of self when I was 21 than I seem to have at 33. I am terrified that I am wasting this life and wasting my time on all the wrong things.
What I am certain of is that I don't want to lead my children into their adulthood thinking that it's okay to take a backseat to their own lives. I don't want them to think it's okay to settle for what is right in front of them when something far more fulfilling is just around the corner. With that said, I don't want to have the opposite affect on them and have them miss every opportunity just because the grass may be greener on the other side, wasting their youth on waiting for something better.
I am lost, and I have absolutely no idea how to dig my way out of this funk that I seem to wallowing in lately. I am spending so much energy beating a dead horse when all I want to do is move past today, let go of yesterday and accept what has come and gone. I want to move forward. I want to play with my kids outside in the sun and enjoy the time I have with them while I'm home. I want to get off my butt and work around the house. I want to finish a project, ANY project! Just one project in the house from start to finish and sit back and be proud. I want to stop crying. I want to feel strong again. I need to move on.
My mask is thinning and people are beginning to see in. They're going to find out that it's the blind leading the blind in here and someones going to step in and take it all away from me. Someones going find out that I'm a fraud. I just hope it's not one of my kids.
My mask is hiding me. The true self that lies beneath my identity as a mother. I am a fraud. A character is someone else's play. This is not my life. This is not me. I don't think I even know who I am, but I know that this person others see can't possibly be who I've grown into.
I know a few things to be true. That I am fierce, determined and stubborn. I am strong and sure that I deserve to be treated with respect and kindness. The same kindness and respect I give to anyone else. I worry. Alot. I worry about money, my future as a mother and if I am doing everything that I can to make sure that my children grow into healthy respectful successful happy people. I worry that I have chosen the wrong path for myself, and that I continually let events lead me rather than my own intuition and goals. I worry that my goals are too small to be worth the effort or far too big and completely out of the realm of possibility.
As I grow older I see more and more of what makes me unique slip away into muddy memories of who I used to be. Isn't it odd that I had a stronger sense of self when I was 21 than I seem to have at 33. I am terrified that I am wasting this life and wasting my time on all the wrong things.
What I am certain of is that I don't want to lead my children into their adulthood thinking that it's okay to take a backseat to their own lives. I don't want them to think it's okay to settle for what is right in front of them when something far more fulfilling is just around the corner. With that said, I don't want to have the opposite affect on them and have them miss every opportunity just because the grass may be greener on the other side, wasting their youth on waiting for something better.
I am lost, and I have absolutely no idea how to dig my way out of this funk that I seem to wallowing in lately. I am spending so much energy beating a dead horse when all I want to do is move past today, let go of yesterday and accept what has come and gone. I want to move forward. I want to play with my kids outside in the sun and enjoy the time I have with them while I'm home. I want to get off my butt and work around the house. I want to finish a project, ANY project! Just one project in the house from start to finish and sit back and be proud. I want to stop crying. I want to feel strong again. I need to move on.
My mask is thinning and people are beginning to see in. They're going to find out that it's the blind leading the blind in here and someones going to step in and take it all away from me. Someones going find out that I'm a fraud. I just hope it's not one of my kids.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Home Is Calling?
After moving from a large city to small town Saskatchewan never once did I think "I miss my home", until last night. Picking up and taking my family somewhere we had never been, and knowing that we knew nobody where we were going wasn't even scary. It was liberating, freeing, exciting. It was going to be an adventure that was meant to send my family in a healthy and financially appealing direction. For the most part it has been just that. I've gone so far as to say that this was the best move I had ever made.
We've been relatively happy here for four years, working on our home, our yard and having our sixth child. Of course there have been bumps in the road that anyone can expect from a family of this magnitude, but I have never questioned my decision to make a home here.
I think it may be time to go home. Lately I have been craving the comfort of my family (mother, sister and brother). I feel as though I need guidance and there isn't any family here to do that for me. When the house goes haywire and the kids are running a muck I can't call my Sister and say "Need a little help here!" I can't drop them off to Gramma's house so I can catch a flick without having my row of ducklings quick at my heels.
Last night was one of those nights were it's all you can do to just try to keep your sanity. I'm not sure I successfully made it out with mine. Turns out my bubble had a slow leak, and by the time I realized it, it was already too late. Laundry beckoned and pestered me until late into the evening, dinner didn't make it to the table until 7pm, which is considerably later than normal families would sit down to dine, the mess accumulated, moved and migrated but was never actually cleaned up, and children lost their ability to hear my voice at it's normal indoor volume. It was like a virus had conquered my patience and manifested itself in the form of disobedience in the children.
I woke early this morning, alone and without any of the small people waking. I had managed last night to at least tidy up the living dining and kitchen area, and had thankfully programmed the pot to brew my coffee before my alarm sounded. Walking into the kitchen only half conscious of my surroundings and feeling like beaten animal rising from it's coma I gathered my wits enough to pour my coffee and then crawled back into bed with my laptop.
The kids are begining to move around in their beds and my tiniest is just starting to gurgle. Time to start my day. But I refuse to move until I have convinced myself that today isn't going to take out of me what yesterday did. Today has to be better or I see a for sale sign perched on my front lawn in my very near future.
We've been relatively happy here for four years, working on our home, our yard and having our sixth child. Of course there have been bumps in the road that anyone can expect from a family of this magnitude, but I have never questioned my decision to make a home here.
I think it may be time to go home. Lately I have been craving the comfort of my family (mother, sister and brother). I feel as though I need guidance and there isn't any family here to do that for me. When the house goes haywire and the kids are running a muck I can't call my Sister and say "Need a little help here!" I can't drop them off to Gramma's house so I can catch a flick without having my row of ducklings quick at my heels.
Last night was one of those nights were it's all you can do to just try to keep your sanity. I'm not sure I successfully made it out with mine. Turns out my bubble had a slow leak, and by the time I realized it, it was already too late. Laundry beckoned and pestered me until late into the evening, dinner didn't make it to the table until 7pm, which is considerably later than normal families would sit down to dine, the mess accumulated, moved and migrated but was never actually cleaned up, and children lost their ability to hear my voice at it's normal indoor volume. It was like a virus had conquered my patience and manifested itself in the form of disobedience in the children.
I woke early this morning, alone and without any of the small people waking. I had managed last night to at least tidy up the living dining and kitchen area, and had thankfully programmed the pot to brew my coffee before my alarm sounded. Walking into the kitchen only half conscious of my surroundings and feeling like beaten animal rising from it's coma I gathered my wits enough to pour my coffee and then crawled back into bed with my laptop.
The kids are begining to move around in their beds and my tiniest is just starting to gurgle. Time to start my day. But I refuse to move until I have convinced myself that today isn't going to take out of me what yesterday did. Today has to be better or I see a for sale sign perched on my front lawn in my very near future.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
What to do, what to do?
Today is the perfect day to try something new. But what? It's rainy and cool outside today, so it's bound to be an indoor day for the most part. Three of my girls are still lounging in their jammies and have been paying very close attention to Babar and Sponge Bob. My tiniest is having her morning nap and I'm not even jealous. My coffee is delicious and the house is kinda tidy. The laundry needs my love and attention, so that will be a bit of a time filler for me...but I need something else. Something I haven't yet tried.
I LOVE the Internet. Love it! If you are stuck in the house being held hostage by uncooperative weather, then the Internet is the perfect tool to get your butt moving. I have a website that I visit regularly; Mennonite Girls can Cook. It's a blog that I follow that offers tons of recipes, and better than that, they are all recipes from the Mennonite culture. My Gram is Mennonite and has made a huge majority of these recipes for her family and they are some of my favorite meals from when I was a kid. What a fantastic way to spend a rainy day, making comfort food that reminds you of your childhood. That could be something I do today, a new recipe.
Another site I check as often as I can; flylady.com. Basically the most in depth and comprehensive website on house cleaning and organizing I've come across. The only issue there is that any ideas or inspiration I gain from this site will inevitably lead to cleaning. Nothing new and interesting about that. So nope. Not today.
Time to research! I feel like building something. That may be because I have a ton of shingles parked in my drive patiently waiting for a weekend installation. I feel stagnant and useless when I am surrounded by building material and I am doing nothing with them. Gotta do something to use some of these materials and better my home. This could be an interesting direction to take.
I'm off to find inspiration and motivation to better my home, my day, and my spirit. I'll keep you posted!
I LOVE the Internet. Love it! If you are stuck in the house being held hostage by uncooperative weather, then the Internet is the perfect tool to get your butt moving. I have a website that I visit regularly; Mennonite Girls can Cook. It's a blog that I follow that offers tons of recipes, and better than that, they are all recipes from the Mennonite culture. My Gram is Mennonite and has made a huge majority of these recipes for her family and they are some of my favorite meals from when I was a kid. What a fantastic way to spend a rainy day, making comfort food that reminds you of your childhood. That could be something I do today, a new recipe.
Another site I check as often as I can; flylady.com. Basically the most in depth and comprehensive website on house cleaning and organizing I've come across. The only issue there is that any ideas or inspiration I gain from this site will inevitably lead to cleaning. Nothing new and interesting about that. So nope. Not today.
Time to research! I feel like building something. That may be because I have a ton of shingles parked in my drive patiently waiting for a weekend installation. I feel stagnant and useless when I am surrounded by building material and I am doing nothing with them. Gotta do something to use some of these materials and better my home. This could be an interesting direction to take.
I'm off to find inspiration and motivation to better my home, my day, and my spirit. I'll keep you posted!
Monday, June 6, 2011
The Great Procrastinator!
I have so many plans! So many projects to start, even more to finish. I have so many ideas and am inspired far too often to take on new renovations or new challenges. It's entirely possible that I use these little projects as yet another way to procrastinate from getting my daily routine under control. Case in point; this blog!
Right now I have laundry, dishes, painting tiling, cabinetry that needs building and installing, cleaning, cooking, mudding and taping, re-grouting and sleeping to catch up on. Instead I've caught up on budgeting for both June and July...and that's it. Oh and I have a friend of mine picking up and dropping off over 7500lbs of roofing shingles in the next few hours. What on earth am I thinking?!
Here's what I'm thinking;
If I wake up on a Tuesday morning and I have energy, I'm gonna use it. If I've started a project (like tiling the bathroom) and I am out of either the tile or the grout, then I have to move on. Well, I have paint and supplies here, so instead of concentrating on getting the tile and grout, I move on to the next room! I don't think I have one finished room in the entire house! Doesn't matter. I love it. I know what still needs to be done, and I'm capable of doing it. Just have to get focused and prepared for one entire project, but this isn't likely to happen for me.
I'm a scatter brain. Not good if you have a career or a job, but it's totally cool if you're just at home and renovating, right? Jeepers I hope so. I don't plan on changing and as long as I can keep up on the bills, put a little more effort into the daily house keeping and try new recipes every now and again then I figure I'm happy!
And why not?
I live for chaos, and oh boy have I created a heaven of chaos up in here!
Right now I have laundry, dishes, painting tiling, cabinetry that needs building and installing, cleaning, cooking, mudding and taping, re-grouting and sleeping to catch up on. Instead I've caught up on budgeting for both June and July...and that's it. Oh and I have a friend of mine picking up and dropping off over 7500lbs of roofing shingles in the next few hours. What on earth am I thinking?!
Here's what I'm thinking;
If I wake up on a Tuesday morning and I have energy, I'm gonna use it. If I've started a project (like tiling the bathroom) and I am out of either the tile or the grout, then I have to move on. Well, I have paint and supplies here, so instead of concentrating on getting the tile and grout, I move on to the next room! I don't think I have one finished room in the entire house! Doesn't matter. I love it. I know what still needs to be done, and I'm capable of doing it. Just have to get focused and prepared for one entire project, but this isn't likely to happen for me.
I'm a scatter brain. Not good if you have a career or a job, but it's totally cool if you're just at home and renovating, right? Jeepers I hope so. I don't plan on changing and as long as I can keep up on the bills, put a little more effort into the daily house keeping and try new recipes every now and again then I figure I'm happy!
And why not?
I live for chaos, and oh boy have I created a heaven of chaos up in here!
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Homemade Liquid Laundry Soap!
I am on a mission to save my money! I have been surfing the web and I've found tons of little tricks. My favorite so far?
DIY Laundry Detergent! It's wonderful! Smells fantastic and WORKS in my high efficiency front load washer! Even better than that?
It WORKS on cloth diapers!!!! WOO HOO!!!
So with no further delay, here is how it's done.
Step 1. Gather your ingredients;
bar of soap
1/2 cup borax
1 cup washing soda
5 gallon pail
water
Step 2. Start by shredding your bar of soap and boiling in on the stove in a pot of water. Amount won't matter. You will end up with super frothy soap soup. Do not eat.
Step 3. Pour 2 1/2 gallons of water into the pail. Pour soap soup into the pail and stir well. No splashing.
Step 4. Add the Borax and the Washing Soda. Stir until dissolved.
Step 5. Add remaining 2 1/2 gallons of water and stir again.
Step 6. Cover and let sit over night. It will turn into a gelatinous type of goopy soap. Mix well and fill an empty laundry soap container. You'll have to shake it a bit before using, but oh my gosh is it worth the effort!
DIY Laundry Detergent! It's wonderful! Smells fantastic and WORKS in my high efficiency front load washer! Even better than that?
It WORKS on cloth diapers!!!! WOO HOO!!!
So with no further delay, here is how it's done.
Step 1. Gather your ingredients;
bar of soap
1/2 cup borax
1 cup washing soda
5 gallon pail
water
Step 2. Start by shredding your bar of soap and boiling in on the stove in a pot of water. Amount won't matter. You will end up with super frothy soap soup. Do not eat.
Step 3. Pour 2 1/2 gallons of water into the pail. Pour soap soup into the pail and stir well. No splashing.
Step 4. Add the Borax and the Washing Soda. Stir until dissolved.
Step 5. Add remaining 2 1/2 gallons of water and stir again.
Step 6. Cover and let sit over night. It will turn into a gelatinous type of goopy soap. Mix well and fill an empty laundry soap container. You'll have to shake it a bit before using, but oh my gosh is it worth the effort!
The next time I make this I'll be adding a few drops of lavender essential oil. That ought to be lovely!
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